Have you ever met someone at work or home who likes to let the world know how much they are suffering by the amount of work they must do each day?  At work I like to call these folks the office martyrs.  There is usually one in every organization.  They seem to get a natural high from self-pity and making others feel guilty for not working as hard.  Read below for four signs that you or someone you know may be playing this role and how to get on the road to recovery.

Happy reading,

Diane

Recently I was at party with a group of friends when our conversation turned to a woman who was more quiet than usual.  I asked her how her business was going and she took a deep sigh and said, “It was going very well…almost too well.”  Of course, the consultant in me took over and I began my series of questions for better understanding.  She went on to say that her company merged with another company and she was swamped with the administrative duties of this merger and was trying to connect both companies’ software systems.  I asked her when was the last time she took time off and she exclaimed…Oh I haven’t taken time off in ages…the company would fall apart if I left even for a short time.

My first thought at this last statement was sadness.  This woman had become the office martyr.  She kept telling herself how important she was by not letting anyone else do her important work. She was now so important she created a prison of importance that would not allow her to escape even for a few hours.  I believe we have all been this prisoner to some task in the past.  Are you this person or do you work with someone who takes on more and more work only to use it later to make others feel guilty that they are not as busy? What are the four signs you may be the office martyr?

• Everyone knows how much time you spent in the office last week because you told everyone
• Simple conversations with co-workers always end with you sighing and exclaiming that you don’t know how you will get it all done
• Co-workers offer to help but you claim it will take way too much time to train anyone so it is easier to keep doing it yourself
• You let everyone know how little time off you have taken as if this is your badge of courage

If you have this tendency or know of someone, here are four quick steps to recovery:

• The minute you make others feel guilty of your workload is the flag you need to see that YOU have a problem and you are to blame for your situation

• Begin offloading a few simple tasks to others so you can see there are talented workers around you capable of so much more than you think.  If you work for someone, ask for their help in dividing your workload

• Take your largest, most time consuming task and break it down into four parts.  Make a plan to delegate at least one of these parts to someone else in the near future.  For example, if you handle software integration give the earliest steps of the process or the last easiest steps of the process to someone else

• Start taking time off.  It may need to be in small increments like 2-3 hours but start the process of letting go and know that you are more productive when you return from time off

Question for You:

Do you act as the office martyr?  Is it hard for you to give up duties because no one can do it as well as you?  Do you resist taking time off because the office would fall apart if you left?

Answer for You:

Start training someone else NOW on those tasks that are most critical to the office’s success.  Every business should have two people capable of doing the most critical tasks in an office.  If you are holding onto tasks because “no one can do it as well as you” you are hurting yourself, the office team and the organization as a whole.