When Is It Appropriate To Touch In The Workplace?

I know what you are going to say….  in today’s litigious society it is better to not touch anyone at work so you don’t risk being accused of creating a hostile work environment.  You are right…mostly.  Today, more than ever, a vendor, employee or boss must not be perceived as making unwanted sexual advances through touch.  This would include massaging someone’s neck, rubbing up and down someone’s arms or legs, squeezing someone’s knee, pinching or intentionally brushing up against someone repeatedly.  Basically, anything that could be construed in a sexual way should be prohibited.

But, does this mean we should never touch anyone at work other than a handshake?  I worked many years for an organization that liked to hug each other.  It was part of their culture to meet each other after a long absence and give the other person a quick hug.  Sure, there were employees that were not comfortable being hugged and they were excluded from this ritual.

So, is touching in the workplace appropriate?  I feel that society today is more accepting of hugging in the workplace than ever before.  Vendors hugging clients, co-workers hugging co-workers, bosses hugging employees.  If the person wanting to hug has the intent of a quick greeting, or to offer condolences, this is okay.  If the intent is made in a sexual way, it is not okay.

Done properly, briefly touching someone in the workplace can create a positive connection that leads to the person being touched feeling appreciated. Touch can also help boost your confidence, improve your mood, reduce anxiety and the feeling of isolation.

So, what types of touch are appropriate?

  • A handshake for a greeting, departure or congratulations
  • A “high five” to show appreciation, congratulations or hello
  • A hug if done briefly with the intent of showing you missed someone after a period of time or you are consoling someone for a loss
  • A light touch of the arm or elbow to show you care or you are guiding someone to move in a certain direction, i.e., down the hallway or turning sharply to walk through a door

If however, the person being touched shows any sign of resistance or asks you to stop, then you must stop immediately.  Being professional in the workplace today can include touch if done for the right reasons with the right people.

How To Differentiate Yourself In the Marketplace

According to Toni Newman, a catalyst for strategic innovation, improving your business incrementally year after year is no longer good enough to excel.  Incremental improvements have now become status quo and you need to work on continuous improvement just to stay in the game of business.  So what is necessary to thrive today in the business world?  In a nutshell….being different.

Would this same logic apply to employees who are struggling to advance their careers?  I believe so.  As a baby boomer, I grew up knowing that if I performed my job well, had a great attitude and worked harder than anyone else, I would see success.  This is still true today but it may not be enough.

So, if these great work attributes have become status quo, then what can a person do to get noticed in a positive way? Toni Newman recommends being strategic and not being different for the sake of being different.  By being strategic you ask yourself what do you want your boss, co-workers and customers to think and feel and know about you?

  • Share your passion- Toni Newman signs her Twitter messages with “Will work for chocolate”.  This is a great humorous way to get noticed and have people engage in conversation with her.  Now, will your employer allow you to add a tagline to your email signature?  I believe so if it is not offensive.  For instance, I know of one employee who loves the Pittsburgh Steelers and would add a tag line to his email, “Go Steelers”.
  • Make your appearance standout.  One worker wanted to stand out by the way he dressed.  He chose to wear a different pocket handkerchief each week to show his flair and get noticed.  A female could have a signature necklace, pin or earrings that can become a conversation piece with others.
  • Change your voicemail message- what if part of your strategy to stand out is to be known for your expertise and so you want to share that expertise. Why not use your voicemail message as an opportunity to share with others the work you are doing or your department is doing?  You will need to change this message frequently to stay fresh.
  • Create a memorable business card-I realize that your company may have a policy about consistency in business cards but could you add a tag line to your card that would help you stand out?  Could your card be made of a different material or a different size than your standard card?

Question for You:

Do you play it safe and hope that you will be noticed on your hard work alone?  Do you want others to take notice about your abilities so that you have greater opportunities at work?

Answer for You:

You need to find a way to stand out amongst your peers who are working just as smart and hard as you are.  What is different about you? Ask your close friends and co-workers what makes you different and use this knowledge to create a strategy that gets you noticed.

 

4 Signs You’re An Office Martyr

Have you ever met someone at work or home who likes to let the world know how much they are suffering by the amount of work they must do each day?  At work I like to call these folks the office martyrs.  There is usually one in every organization.  They seem to get a natural high from self-pity and making others feel guilty for not working as hard.  Read below for four signs that you or someone you know may be playing this role and how to get on the road to recovery.

Happy reading,

Diane

Recently I was at party with a group of friends when our conversation turned to a woman who was more quiet than usual.  I asked her how her business was going and she took a deep sigh and said, “It was going very well…almost too well.”  Of course, the consultant in me took over and I began my series of questions for better understanding.  She went on to say that her company merged with another company and she was swamped with the administrative duties of this merger and was trying to connect both companies’ software systems.  I asked her when was the last time she took time off and she exclaimed…Oh I haven’t taken time off in ages…the company would fall apart if I left even for a short time.

My first thought at this last statement was sadness.  This woman had become the office martyr.  She kept telling herself how important she was by not letting anyone else do her important work. She was now so important she created a prison of importance that would not allow her to escape even for a few hours.  I believe we have all been this prisoner to some task in the past.  Are you this person or do you work with someone who takes on more and more work only to use it later to make others feel guilty that they are not as busy? What are the four signs you may be the office martyr?

  • Everyone knows how much time you spent in the office last week because you told everyone
  • Simple conversations with co-workers always end with you sighing and exclaiming that you don’t know how you will get it all done
  • Co-workers offer to help but you claim it will take way too much time to train anyone so it is easier to keep doing it yourself
  • You let everyone know how little time off you have taken as if this is your badge of courage

If you have this tendency or know of someone, here are four quick steps to recovery:

  • The minute you make others feel guilty of your workload is the flag you need to see that YOU have a problem and you are to blame for your situation

 

  • Begin offloading a few simple tasks to others so you can see there are talented workers around you capable of so much more than you think.  If you work for someone, ask for their help in dividing your workload

 

  • Take your largest, most time consuming task and break it down into four parts.  Make a plan to delegate at least one of these parts to someone else in the near future.  For example, if you handle software integration give the earliest steps of the process or the last easiest steps of the process to someone else

 

  • Start taking time off.  It may need to be in small increments like 2-3 hours but start the process of letting go and know that you are more productive when you return from time off

Question for You:

Do you act as the office martyr?  Is it hard for you to give up duties because no one can do it as well as you?  Do you resist taking time off because the office would fall apart if you left?

 

Answer for You:

Start training someone else NOW on those tasks that are most critical to the office’s success.  Every business should have two people capable of doing the most critical tasks in an office.  If you are holding onto tasks because “no one can do it as well as you” you are hurting yourself, the office team and the organization as a whole.